All good lol one of the solid things about you is that you don’t prematurely eject which is a problem a lot of new guys have. They go “omg it didn’t go flawless, she’s shooting me down, I’m out of here!!” and run away, when really it was just like, she didn’t know how to respond or he read into something too much or she wasn’t offended enough that he couldn’t turn it around still, etc. and they bail to avoid feeling any awkwardness.
It’s good that you stick in, it teaches you to handle social pressure. Like getting up to do a speech at Toastmasters where you’re learning to have tons of people watching you as you speak…it’s scary as balls, but the more you do it the more you get used to the pressure and the less it freaks you out in the future, which is a big part of confidence. :)
This is why when guys go mountain climbing and shit, ya, you’re a badass alpha and that’s great…but when you get to the bar, can you deal with the social pressure of approaching a hot girl? Because that’s a different kind of pressure that you didn’t learn to deal with when you were climbing that mountain. Often the answer is that no, they can’t, even though logically the Keyboard Jockey theorists think “wtf he climbed a MOUNTAIN, it’s just some girl in a bar, he’d have no problem”. In action, often (like 90%+ of the time) those guys are still chicken-shit with women.
Contrast that to PUAs who will do shit like approach mixed sets of guys/girls, or couples on a date, or people in situations that are seemingly impossible or awkward like through the window of a restaraunt etc. Those guys are learning to handle the social pressure of “everyone is watching and judging me right now but I’m going to ignore it and stay the course and not let that sway me from attempting to achieve this goal”. :)